Why I Decided To Stop Doing What I Was “Supposed” To Be Doing

By YWAM Newcastle on June 12, 2018 in Staff Blog
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“Not everyone believes in her and not everyone supports her, but her God goes with her and that’s what sustains her.” – Morgan Harper-Nichols.

Oh, how this quote speaks to my soul.  There is a sweetness in resting in Jesus, in allowing God to be God, in trusting Him when He says that He is our Father and He is with us through it all.

Two years ago I was in University, doing what I was “supposed” to be doing.

But, the thing is, I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing.  I was doing what I thought I needed to be doing.  I was working to pay my bills, being responsible.  I was hanging out with friends, maintaining a social life.  I was going to University, getting a degree.  I was going to church, keeping my faith alive. The list could go on, painting the picture of the road to a “perfect” life aka what I thought I needed.

It’s quite wild how perfect God’s timing is, even when it seems so awfully not on time.

Trust my word on this.  I was half-way through my second year of University when God spoke to me about doing a Discipleship Training School (DTS) with YWAM. I felt challenged, was I living my life for the Lord or for myself?  So, I signed up and flew 11,000 miles to Australia to find out.

While on DTS it dawned on me that I allowed my decisions to be lead by my emotions.  The problem wasn’t what I was feeling, but how I was dealing with what I was feeling; I simply submitted to my emotions, deeming them as “mine”, giving them the power to lead the course of my life.  Which answered my question.  Was I living my life for myself or for the Lord?  A big, fat, bolded, underlined, exclamation-pointed: me.

Naturally, my next question was, “How do I live my life for the Lord?”  I found that at the core of it all, I had to surrender my life to Him, I had to let God have the control, I had to submit my emotions to Him, I had to sit with Him and listen.  I simply had to be in a relationship with Him.

After all, God created us for just that.

I believe we were made to do things with God.  He isn’t distant, He takes delight in us, in me, in you.  He created us with a purpose, He wouldn’t make us the unique creation He intended us to be, to then leave.  No, He is not that kind of a God, He is intentional, He is present, He is there in the midst of it all.  Maybe you’ve never heard this, I know I hadn’t until I came on my DTS, but God is absolutely in love with you, not because He has to, but because He wants to.  The creator of this world is absolutely smitten by you, by me.  Crazy, I know.  I struggled with this at first asking God, “Why, me?  How am I worthy of your love? I sin, I mess up, I don’t always love well.”  And, that is when God whispered, “The cross, Mea.  Don’t you know that was for you?”

In one single moment, everything in me shifted. I was worth it all to God, and so are you.

So, whatever you may be going through in life, remember you are worth it, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8.

By Xitlalmina Alarcon,
YWAM October DTS Staff

Are you also just doing what your "supposed" to be doing? Find out more about a YWAM DTS today!