In my few short months with YWAM, God has shown me just how much I continually doubt Him, His power, and His ability to work through me. Other people had cool “God stories” to share, but I definitely did not. Yeah, I know, I feel like that is everyone’s story, but if everyone has that story, then who does God work through?
A series of recent events have proven that He works through me, the unbeliever, which means He can work through anyone.
One afternoon during my outreach in Hong Kong, my team and I decided to head downtown for a few hours of evangelism. We paired up and all headed in the direction that God was leading; but I stayed behind with a few of my teammates to sing worship on the street where we were, with hundreds of people passing by every minute. We got out the guitar, set up a “Jesus loves you — Happy New Year” sign (for it was the Chinese New Year), and began to worship.
Our intention was to bless and to show the love of God to those passing by, and we certainly didn’t expect what happened next.
One by one, people began to hand us money — and not just coins, but dollar bills! And what was even funnier was that they weren’t allowing us not to take it! So, we accepted all of the money given to us during our time of public worship. By the time we had been out for half an hour, we had been given an amount that equaled about 50 Australian dollars and did not know what to do with it!
We felt, that God was pressing us not to keep it for the team, but to give it away.
The worship team and I split up into pairs, and my friend and I took the money we collected and began to pray with the intention of finding out who God wanted us to give it to. This is when I began to feel that doubt and reserve creep up. In my eyes, I was never one God chose to speak to in times like these, but my friend was encouraging me to ask God to speak to us specifically for who He wanted us to give this money to. Great, now we would really see if God speaks to me or not. I was preparing myself to come up empty handed with this prayer that would challenge God to tell me something specific, but instead I decided to press out that thought and I got excited. I made a conscious decision to actually trust God and go with what He spoke to me. At this, we prayed and asked God to show us who to give the money to.
One second… five seconds… ten seconds pass, and my partner looks up at me excitedly; “What’d you get? What did God say?” Oh no, I actually need to have an answer! Well, with the confidence I decided to chose just a minute before, I began to search my mind and ask God once more to speak to me. And just like that, He gave me a vision of red jacket and a person with black hair! My friend felt like God wanted us to go to the park we were at earlier and be there at 4 o’clock, and then God gave him a picture of a wheelchair. We both felt at peace and confident that all of this information came from God, so we set off in the direction of the park, as it was almost 4 o’clock already!
I was still so nervous inside, but very excited. Was what I heard from God true? Would there really be someone at the park at 4 o’clock that fit the description we both received? Only time would tell.
Soon, we were just in sight of the park and as we rounded the corner, I could not believe my eyes. There was a woman with black hair, wearing a red jacket, and sitting in wheelchair in the distance! In that moment, my doubt and unbelief was completely gone and all that stood was the fact that God speaks to me. He spoke truth to me! We walked over to this woman with confidence, knowing in full faith that she was the one who He had spoken to us about.
Now, this was the moment the past hour had been building up to; the giving away part. I walked over to the woman with the money tucked into a small envelope we had made, got her attention, and tried giving it to her. We didn’t speak each other’s language, so I attempted as best I could to communicate that the envelope of money was for her, but I don’t think she understood. So, I left the money with her and walked away. Although she didn’t thank me, or even gladly accept the money, I was so satisfied that I had completed the task God had given me, and I trusted and obeyed exactly what He said to me.
I threw away my unbelief for a moment and I let trust and faith flood in.
What followed trust was willingness, and what followed willingness was reward.
As I took one small step out of doubting if God actually speaks to me, He brought me into the fullness of His ability to work through me and used me to complete a part of His will that included me and that woman.
Never had I been so sure of the fact that God can and will choose to do something tangible through me.
Apparently He loves to work through people that know they can’t, but believes He can.
by Kayla Holt
YWAM Trailblazers DTS Student