I suppose my Christian journey didn’t actually begin till I was 14. Before that I just thought all Christians were hypocrites and were just completely sheltered from the world. It wasn’t until I went to a youth event that my friends had dragged me to that I truly felt God moving in my heart.
I just had this overwhelming feeling like God was talking to me
and saying “Lauren I want you to know me. Let me into your heart.” That night I was saved, it took all the courage I had to raise my hand in church that day and ask for someone to pray for me and help me to understand what it meant to know God. I still remember the song that was playing and the people who were on worship, I’m lucky enough to be on mission with two of them now. God works in mysterious ways.
I knew that at this point I had two decisions. Either I could continue to grow my faith and follow God. Or I could turn away and choose to try to control my own life.
Unfortunately I chose the turn away and for two and a half year I was living utter misery.
Because I know I needed God but just refused to admit it. All the while God was screaming “Lauren I want you to know me. Let me into your heart.”
I tried chasing anything else to try to fulfil my life and give me back that feeling of pure awesomeness I felt when God was talking to me. I wish when I was younger that someone had told me that
it was ok to admit that you need God, it’s ok to not have all the answers, it’s ok to want Jesus. It’s what makes us humans.
We need love. Undying, unfailing love. I needed that love and the only way I found it was through God.
My turning point came when I was at a party, I was worried about the crowd of people I was around, the things they were doing, I didn’t feel safe and I just wanted to go home. I prayed to God and said “Please just get me out of here. Please help me to make the right decisions to get out of here.” I’d never wish upon anyone that horrible feeling of being so out of control that you fear for your safety. But God was there. And he led me home safe.
Looking back now I felt like for two years I’d been living my life like a car trying to run through traffic lights, I’d just been skipping through orange lights,
I had so many near misses and each one left me feeling guilty.
That night, at that party God slammed on the Red light and just said ” Lauren stop. I love you and I want you to know me. Let me into your heart!”
And finally I said YES!!!
I took a huge leap of faith about 9 months ago when Mr. Dwyer came to our class and said
there’s a mission trip going to Fiji, who wants to come? My hand shot straight up.
I can’t say that the walk has been easy. But I know that I have this amazing future ahead of me. God has a plan and purpose for me, for everyone of you. He wants you to know him, he wants you to let him into your heart. He loves you unconditionally and unfailing. God will always be there for you no matter how terrible you feel. No matter what you’ve done. God wants a relationship with you.
All you have to do is say yes.
*Lauren recently joined us with a team from her high school as part of a Youth Adventures outreach that we run each year.