“Why am I back in lectures?”
Rather than a sense of disappointment, my question brings bubbly anticipation for what’s about to happen. Scarves double as blind folds, and we’re instructed to partner up with someone who we “don’t know very well”. I find myself standing next to one of the sweetest American gals I’ve ever met, and we happen to share names. Although we’ve connected a bit over the past two weeks of DTS, we smile in agreement. Yep, we don’t know each other very well!
Lectures is a word that I’ve used countless times in the past few years of university.
Gotta get to lectures, I’d say, frantically looking at my watch. I took notes in lectures, I explain to a friend who didn’t make it to class. Oh, I had incredible lecturers and deeply enjoyed my teaching degree, with its enormous amount of work. However, I didn’t admit it to myself then– I ached to go deeper in knowing God compared to what I was experiencing.
“I’m going to Australia to do a missionary training school…”
Was it only two months ago that I explained to a fellow substitute teacher my life plans? The preschool staff room was quiet with surprise. I myself was still shocked that God whispered to do a Music & Arts DTS in Newcastle– wasn’t I supposed to be following the status quo and applying for as many jobs as possible?
No– instead, two months later I’m sitting in “lectures” in my Discipleship Training School. Rather than Human Development or Graduating Teacher Standards being the topic of the week– it’s “Nature & Character of God”. As a class, our homework is to read Psalm 145 and let a particular verse hit us. It’s verse 16 that made me choke up in the middle of class.
“What about the things God has set in your heart? Hold fast to the dream–
‘He will satisfy the desires of every living thing,’”
Tom Hallas, a founder of YWAM in Australia and grandfather in the faith proclaims to our lecture room. Yet it feels like it’s a direct target on me.
The dream of knowing God deeply in a community– here it is in reality, as my classmate ties my blindfold. It’s application time, and she’s listening to God to know what actions to lead me in. My job is to listen to what He is saying to me through those actions.
So why am I back in lectures? It’s in this blindfolded moment I catch my breath, because these lectures are what I longed for. As a university graduate, I didn’t think it was possible, at least not for a while.
Yet as I am lead calmly around the room– my steps at first hesitant– there is always a soft hand on my shoulder, always.
“You can trust me,” I hear a voice inside me say, full of peace.
It’s in this moment I know I can walk confidently into the dreams to come.